Problem or Solution

This is the story of how I tried to help a friend, and almost because a problem masquerading as a solution.  

Last night, Saturday, I received a phone call from the bishop asking if there was any way to broadcast Sacrament meeting. He said that one of my good friends in the ward, Eric, was in a precarious situation and had been admitted in the hospital. The added difficulty was that Eric's son had just returned from his mission and was scheduled to speak the next day in Sacrament Meeting. The bishop wanted to broadcast the sons talk so Eric could see the talk and hear it.

I responded that the state technology guys could set it up and volunteered to call them and get it set up. I called and the technology brother was very nice and agreed to meet me at 8, an hour before the meeting was going to start. Plenty of time, we thought,  to get things set up. 

We started the feed just fine, but Eric wasn't able to get it to work. Eric tried his phone and computer but couldn't get it to work. It was now about 8:30. I decided, since I had it working on my computer, that I would just drive to the hospital and watch the meeting with Eric. I arrived at the hospital right at 9 as the meeting was starting.

In the room, I couldn't get it to work either. We were again frustrated because the meeting had started and we still didn't have the feed working.  I thought maybe the hospital was blocking the streaming video.  I switched a few things and pulled the Internet through my phone. Still didn't work. I tried pulling through Eric's phone. Still didn't work. The URL for the feed had a large number in it, and I double checked it with everyone- even copied and pasted it from one application to another. As a last ditch resort I called my wife and was going to do a hangout worth her to get both audio and video. She was able to help if we couldn't figure it out. 

Then I said a silent prayer asking what I was missing.  The Web feed worked from the chapel,  it should work from the hospital. The impression came to send the whole URL to Diego, the ward clerk manning the broadcast equipment, and have him double check it.  Diego noticed that the numbers were fine, but the domain had a misspelling. Once corrected it worked fine. The Sacrament was just ending. We were able to watch the rest of the meeting, including his son's talk. (The doctor came in right before the son was to start speaking. Eric said, I'm sorry, I'm watching my son's talk. This is more important. You will have to come back later." It seemed like the world was conspiring against letting Eric watch the talk.)

I learned a few things in the process. When I was in the hospital room with Eric, I found a lot of other reasons for failure other than myself. I blamed the hospital's internet, and the church's software that might have some firewall preventing me from accessing the site I needed. It wasn't outright blaming, but I was so confident I was doing things correct that someone else must be to blame. In reality though, it was just my own dumb mistake. I was so focused on the numbers I didn't even look at the domain portion of the url. I even tried to work around my problem, offloading my problem to my wife - though she was willing to help. It was only after I was willing to consider that I might be the problem and ask for help, that the problem was identified. 

The son's talk was wonderful. He talked about prayer and humility. He reflected on his life and compared the decisions he was making 4 years ago with those he was making now - and that he was much happier and had a greater perspective. He said, "If the gospel isn't working for you, you are doing something wrong." That was certainly my experience this morning. Prayer, eventual humility, and and course correction. I think I will be reflecting on this experience again and again. 

What Soccer Teaches Me About God

I know little about playing soccer but I have volunteered a few times to coach my kid's teams when no one else was able to assume the role. I approached coaching with the idea that I can help the team have fun. Practices were for learning skills and doing drills. Games were for implementing the skills learned in practice - and having fun doing it. During the games I would only tell players what to do if they were in la-la land, or if they were severely out of position. Mostly I would just shout encouragement and praise. Practice was hands-on demonstrations and drills. Games were to put into play the skills acquired during practice. 

I was always amazed how coaching, practice, and natural ability were more evidenced in some players than others. One of the kids was an excellent defender. He was nowhere near the fastest runner on the team, and he couldn't kick the ball very well, but he had developed the ability to know where the ball was going to go. Whenever the other team would break away with the ball, I was confident this defender would be there to disrupt the play. Other players needed much more coaching to know where to stand and what to do. 

Pondering on those games has taught me some things about God. I am a player on Gods team. When I'm at church, reading scriptures, praying, or worshiping at the temple - these are the practice times. These are the times the coach most freely shares his will. 

The rest of life is the game. The coach is on the sideline.  I am not a robot that is controlled by the coach, or told everything to do. Most of the time I play the game the best I have been taught. Occasionally the coach calls my name to get my head back in the game when the ball is coming my direction. 

Perhaps as we become more "one" with God, as our desires increasingly match His desires, perhaps we require less coaching during the games.  God doesn't have to tell us everything to do. Like the coach who no longer needs to teach how to throw the ball in, or what constitutes off-sides, or to anticipate where the ball will be, so we become better at doing good without being prompted.

There are many stories where someone reports feeling the spirit as, "I didn't know why, but I felt we needed to _____." I have had some of those experiences myself. I think in those times I was the soccer player who was momentarily distracted by butterflies and didn't see the ball coming. God, like the coach, had to call out to get my attention. If I had been paying attention, perhaps I wouldn't have required the strong prompting. 

As a last thought to include I would say that every player needs practice - even those that are great players. We learn and practice, and practice, until the perfect day. 

I am impressed with a friend of mine who is currently serving as a bishop. One night he asked his wife to go on a walk through the neighborhood, even though it was extremely late. He didn't feel or think he was doing anything out of the ordinary. He just had a desire to walk and talk with his wife. They made it only a few houses away when a car careened off an otherwise empty street and hit a tree in front of them. The driver turned out to be another neighbor who had suffered a stroke. My friend and his wife were able to give first aid and call for an ambulance. They were in the right place when they were needed. My friend didn't report asking his wife to go for a walk because of some ominous feeling. He just wanted to spend some quite time walking and talking with his wife. Those kinds of stories happen frequently with this friend. 

The Hymn "More Holiness Give Me" is about the soccer player's desire to learn from the supreme coach. I especially like the third verse - 

More purity give me,
More strength to o'ercome,
More freedom from earth-stains,
More longing for home.
More fit for the kingdom,
More used would I be,
More blessed and holy--
More, Savior, like thee.

https://www.lds.org/music/library/hymns/more-holiness-give-me?lang=eng

This scripture is also applicable - 

26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. 

27 Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; 

28 For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward. 

29 But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned.  

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/58.26-29?lang=eng#25

What does soccer teach me about God? It teaches me that I'm a better player when the coach doesn't have to tell me everything to do. It teaches me that when the promptings are the loudest, I'm probably not focusing on the right things. It teaches me that God is more interactive with me while I am practicing, not when my skills are being tested. And, it teaches me that I have a lot to learn. I'm grateful to be on the team, and grateful to be used in whatever position the coach needs me to play. 

Straighten Up and Fly Right

This is a talk I gave in church, May 10, 2015.

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I would like to talk today about a few of the most basic doctrines of the gospel. I would like to talk about something that is very personal and very private to me, that has been on my mind for the past several weeks. I would like to speak about the reasons my father lost his life.

In late March, 1982, when I was 13, my father and 5 other people boarded a small plane in El Paso, Texas en route to Salt Lake City, Utah. My mother was supposed to go on the trip but didn't, as she had just started a job to help make ends meet. During the flight they encountered bad weather and the plane crashed in New Mexico.

Two quick doctrines and an observation. First of all, I have had etched in my soul a strong testimony of the resurrection and the eternal nature of families. I know I will see my father again. Because of the atonement of Christ, each of us will be resurrected.

Secondly, Even though I miss my father and desire his company, I know that I am not disadvantaged in my own progression because of his passing. My exaltation depends on the choices I make. Because of the atonement of Christ, everyone will be judged for their own sins.

Even though this was a tragedy, my life has been blessed by it. My parents will never get divorced. They will never have any disagreements. My father will never get old and have to bear the vicissitudes of age. And I have felt my father’s help and interest in my life several times.

That is about all I knew about the crash until a few weeks ago, when I had the prompting or thought to dig a little. The internet didn’t exist back then. I wondered what I could find online about the crash. It wasn’t hard to find. This brief paragraph is the official record of the crash.

The pilot was advised of the icing conditions three different times during his weather briefing.  At 3:24pm while enroute, the pilot was told by other pilots of light to moderate icing between 14,000 and 22,000 feet. Pilot replied that was about what he had been getting. From 3:48 to 3:59 there were several transmissions between the pilot and air traffic control relative to inflight icing conditions in the area. 10 minutes later the pilot requested a climb. 4 minutes later pilot reported he was unable to maintain altitude. Wreckage was spotted the following day 300 feet below a 9600 foot peak in the San Mateo mountains. Aircraft was not certified for flight into known icing conditions nor was it equipped for such flying. The aircraft’s weight was computed to be an estimated 392 pounds over max gross weight at takeoff.

The National Transportation Safety Board determines the probable cause(s) of this accident as follows:

• Flight into known adverse weather. Intentional. Pilot in command.
• Overconfidence in personal ability. Pilot in command.
• Overconfidence in aircraft’s ability. Pilot in command.

Upon reading that summary I became upset at pilot - why didn’t you turn around? The tower was telling you to turn around. Other pilots were telling you to turn around. Even you had talked about the danger. Everyone around you was telling you it wasn’t safe. Why didn’t you turn around?

• Perhaps the pilot had been in lots of similar situations before and he was calloused to the danger.
• Perhaps he thought that other pilots had made it through, as so he could also - even though they were flying better equipped planes.
• Perhaps he didn’t trust the tower, or the other pilots. That it was only when he saw the danger himself, and it was too late, did he believe them.
• Perhaps he was going to turn around if it got a little worse
• Perhaps he had boasted of his aircraft’s abilities, and was worried the others would laugh at him if he turned around at the first sign of weather.
• Perhaps he was afraid the passengers be mad with him if they didn’t get home on time.
• Perhaps there was a pressing event that required his presence
• Perhaps the passengers determined that they were adults and could do what they wanted. They weren’t going to harm anyone but themselves.
• Perhaps cost was an issue. Perhaps the group didn’t want to spend money on hotels for one more night.
• Perhaps they said a prayer for safety before they left, so God would protect them despite all of the warnings.

Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter now.

Matthew 23:37

37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!

Another way to say “turn around” is “repent.”  What reluctance do we have to repent?

As I have thought about the story, there are several lessons I learn about sin and repentance that I want my children to understand. I want them to know the story about why Grandpa Jay died.

#1 - The pilot had overconfidence in his abilities and ignored the warnings. Many have drifted into the storms of pornography, drugs, debt, intellectualism without faith, etc, with the excuses

• It’s not bad. Quit judging.
• It’s not going to hurt me.
• It’s only going to hurt me.
• It’s my life. Don’t tell me what to do.
• I can quit anytime I want.
• It doesn’t affect me.

#2 - Peril came quickly. It only took 15 minutes for the pilot to go from feeling he was safe to being unable to control the aircraft.  “And others he will pacify and lull into a carnal security.“

#3 - The icing conditions began at 14000 feet. They crashed at 9300, which means they were out of the ice, but the effects of having been in the ice continued with them. Leaving the sin behind is not enough. We need to repent. Parents can help us repent. And when our wings are really iced up, we need the help of the bishop.  

#4 - The safety board calculated they were 400 pounds over max weight for the aircraft. There were 6 adults cramped in the 6 seat airplane - each with luggage full of souvenirs from their trip. Perhaps this extra baggage they had picked up along the way contributed to the unresponsiveness of the aircraft. They crashed 300 feet from the top of the mountain. Perhaps if they weren’t trying to do so much, they wouldn’t have fallen so fast. Are we carrying unnecessary baggage that is keeping us from the lift we need? Are we trying to do too much?

We are all pilots trying to make it back home. All of us have different skill levels flying planes of varying capabilities. Yet, we all have a control tower sending us messages, helping us along the way. We have other pilots sharing their own reports and experiences to help us make better decisions.

President Hinckley admonished, “Try a little harder to be a little better.”   

Repeating the saviors lament, which could be the lament of the control tower.

How OFT I would have gathered you.

How oft I would have GATHERED you.  

How oft I would have gathered YOU.

Alma 5:37

“O ye workers of iniquity; ye that are puffed up in the vain things of the world, ye that have professed to have known the ways of righteousness nevertheless have gone astray, as sheep having no shepherd, notwithstanding a shepherd hath called after you and is still calling after you, but ye will not hearken unto his voice!”

Turn around. Repent. Your soul is precious. Jesus savior, pilot me.

LDS Hymn #104

As a mother stills her child Thou canst hush the ocean wild

Boisterous waves obey they will when thou sayst to them “Be still.”

Wondrous sovereign of the sea, Jesus, Savior, pilot me.