Rebuking the Winds and Sea

This morning I found something.

It's been sitting on a printed page for centuries. I'm obviously not the first person to find it, but it did rather feel like finding a geocache that muggles walk by every day. I have read passed it several times and never bothered to look.

The LDS Bible Dictionary observes a major objective of Matthew as he wrote his gospel account:

It appears from the internal evidence of each record that Matthew was written to persuade the Jews that Jesus is the promised Messiah. To do so, he cites several O.T. prophecies and speaks repeatedly of Jesus as the Son of David, thus emphasizing his royal lineage.

It has been one of my points of study, recently, to mark the passages of scripture in Matthew that show this fulfillment of prophesy, and how Matthew shows that Jesus is Jehovah of Old Testament.

This morning I was studying Matthew chapter 8. There is an obvious reference in verse 17.

17 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.

The next vignette is about Jesus calming the storm. It's a well known bible story. Jesus is asleep in a boat when a storm arises. The disciples feel like their lives are in danger and wake Jesus. He calms the storm.

This morning I felt like chasing a few footnotes. So as I read the story, the word "rebuked" stood out to me. "Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the sea; and there was a great calm."

The footnotes lead to three scriptures: Psalms 65:7, Psalms 89:9, and Psalms 107:29. I had never read them before. But each of these scriptures talks about the LORD (Jehovah) calming the waves. I particularly like the account in chapter 107.

24 These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.

25 For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.
26 They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken aman, and are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
29 He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
30 Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.

The disciples would have known these scriptures - though they probably weren't thinking about them during the storm. Jesus, obviously, would have known the scriptures. To me it is further testimony that God knows our lives. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows the storms in my life, and the things that frighten me. Perhaps He could have even inspired an ancient psalmist to write about how my storms and problems were resolved.

Three Lessons from Chocolate Milk

I love chocolate milk. I love it from a powder or from a carton or from the gas station. I like it hot or cold. I spell chocolate milk - yum.

One thing about chocolate milk, you have to keep stirring it or lots of the chocolate falls to the bottom. In chemistry I learned the stuff that falls out of a solution is called "precipitate." When powder is added to milk or water, part of the chocolate binds with the liquid. The rest of the powder remains suspended in the liquid as long as you are stirring, but soon after you stop stirring the suspended chocolate settles to the bottom.

So as I was recently stirring my chocolate milk several gospel analogies came to mind. In the scriptures, "stirring" is both a good and a bad activity. Both examples are in this one verse:

2 Nephi 28:19 - For the kingdom of the devil must shake, and they which belong to it must needs be stirred up unto repentance, or the devil will grasp them with his everlasting chains, and they be stirred up to anger, and perish;

We can be "stirred up" unto repentance or unto anger. The Lamanites were frequently stirred up unto anger.

Alma 27:12 - Get this people out of this land, that they perish not; for Satan has great hold on the hearts of the Amalekites, who do stir up the Lamanites to anger against their brethren to slay them.
Alma 35:10 - Now this did stir up the Zoramites to anger against the people of Ammon, and they began to mix with the Lamanites and to stir them up also to anger against them.

Why "stirred up" to anger? Because the Lamanites, for the most part, weren't evil or angry. When left in a calm environment, most of the Lamanites would settle to the bottom in peace and contentment. Yet they could be stirred up.

Lesson #1: Be slow to anger. The Lord is our example. Psalms 103:8 says, "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy." I, too, should be slow to anger, slow to get whipped up into a frenzy.

Yet, it is possible to be stirred in a good way also, as these scriptures testify. Most frequently people are stirred to a remembrance of Lord, to previous feelings and experience they have had.

Alma 4:9 - And this he did that he himself might go forth among his people, or among the people of Nephi, that he might preach the word of God unto them, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty.

Alma 25:6 - For many of them, after having suffered much loss and so many afflictions, began to be stirred up in remembrance of the words which Aaron and his brethren had preached to them in their land;

2 Peter 1:13 - Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance;

So there are parts of who I am, memories, ambitions, desires, goals, and feelings that can be lost. Love can be lost. Friendship can be lost. Testimony can be lost.

Stirring up, in this sense, has lots of application to me. Nancy and I have both had close friends and associates who have "fallen away" from the Church and religion in general. I think about them as I stir my chocolate milk.

The pioneers had such turbulent lives - each day was a constant struggle to survive and to defend their faith. Brigham Young worried what would happen to the pioneer saints as their environment became more calm.

The worst fear that I have about this people is that they will get rich in this country, forget God and His people, wax fat, and kick themselves out of the Church and go to hell. This people will stand mobbing, robbing, poverty, and all manner of persecution, and be true. But my greater fear for them is that they cannot stand wealth; and yet they have to be tried with riches, for they will become the richest people on this earth.’” (Pure in Heart, p. 81)

As soon as the milk stops spinning, the chocolate begins to settle. As soon as the pioneers lives' settled, Brigham feared they would forget. In some marriages, when there is no longer such a struggle for school or money, the love falls away. For some, though they travel in air conditioned SUVs over roads cut by their hungry pioneer ancestors under threat of attack and freezing cold, the fire of their testimony is cooled.

Lesson #2 is to remember -- to stir up the memories of sacrifices of those who have gone before, and remember Gods love and the tender mercies I have felt and experienced in my own life.

One other thing I have observed about chocolate milk is that store-bought chocolate milk doesn't have the chocolate at the bottom. Some how all of the chocolate has become part of the milk, so that even when it sits for a few hours on the store shelf, the chocolate doesn't fall to the bottom. How do they do that?

Joseph Smith, in his 1838 account of the first vision, describes two different kinds of conversion. First he described a type of "suspended" conversion, in which people were stirred up to conversion.

5 Some time in the second year after our removal to Manchester, there was in the place where we lived an unusual excitement on the subject of religion. It commenced with the Methodists, but soon became general among all the sects in that region of country. Indeed, the whole district of country seemed affected by it, and great multitudes united themselves to the different religious parties, which created no small stir and division amongst the people, some crying, “Lo, here!” and others, “Lo, there!” Some were contending for the Methodist faith, some for the Presbyterian, and some for the Baptist.

6 For, notwithstanding the great love which the converts to these different faiths expressed at the time of their conversion, and the great zeal manifested by the respective clergy, who were active in getting up and promoting this extraordinary scene of religious feeling, in order to have everybody converted, as they were pleased to call it, let them join what sect they pleased; yet when the converts began to file off, some to one party and some to another, it was seen that the seemingly good feelings of both the priests and the converts were more pretended than real; for a scene of great confusion and bad feeling ensued—priest contending against priest, and convert against convert; so that all their good feelings one for another, if they ever had any, were entirely lost in a strife of words and a contest about opinions.

So the ministers were active "getting up and promoting," or in other words, stirring people up the people to be converted. Yet they weren't really converted. They really didn't join themselves to Christ or a congregation. When the scene started to settle, people began to file off, and it was seen that they were merely suspended in the activity rather than being converted by it.

Joseph's experience was different. Rather than "getting up" or being stirred by external activity, the record states that he was "called up" from the inside.

8 During this time of great excitement my mind was called up to serious reflection and great uneasiness; but though my feelings were deep and often poignant, still I kept myself aloof from all these parties, though I attended their several meetings as often as occasion would permit.

Joseph, despite outside swirling opposition, remained calm and became bound to the truth.

Lesson #3: Am I bound to the truth, or am I suspended? Am I like the powdered chocolate that easily falls out, or am I bound to the milk?

To me, bond means covenants. Covenants are involved in the most important relationships in my life - with my wife, with my family, with my G0d. May I remain true to my covenants, and not fail.

So I want to remember these three lessons the next time I make chocolate milk. May I be slow to anger, may I remember the Lords tender mercies, and may I bind myself to God and my family.

Jesus Take the Wheel

Perhaps it is because of our recent driving events at Thanksgiving Point that driving metaphors are on my mind.

Today the sacrament meeting talks were about the gift of agency. The messages resonated with a talk by Elder McConkie that I have read and listened to more than once this week. The talk was entitled "What Think Ye of Salvation by Grace?" In the talk Elder McConkie describes the two great christian heresies: 1) the Trinity, which obscures the true nature and knowledge of God, and 2) the confusion salvation by Grace and Justification, which obscures the true nature and need for the atonement. So how does one "receive" salvation?

God's plan and method has always been agency - the power to choose. Satan's plan has always been force - where people are acted upon. I was thinking about this today, and the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" came to mind. The song was performed by Carrie Underwood in 2006, and was very popular on the country and christian charts. It describes a woman who is driving on Christmas Eve and starts to spin on black ice. As her life flashes before her eyes, she realizes her physical and spiritual peril, and invites Jesus to take the wheel.

I think the song highlights the point Elder McConkie was making. The song implies that safety lies in letting go of the wheel, as the woman does, so that Jesus can take us to where He wants to go. The song invites us to put Jesus in the driver's seat, so to speak.

I like the song, but I don't think it is a good metaphor. Jesus doesn't take the wheel. He doesn't steer the ship. He doesn't control us or force us to do anything. To me, Jesus invites me to drive where he wants me to go. He charts the course and invites me to follow it. The closer I am to God, the more street signs I recognize that tell me where I need to go. I am the one the drives my car, steers my ship, and makes my decisions. God provides the directions if I seek for them.

I was once on a business trip in Lapeer Michigan, which is north of Detroit. I usually went to the airport on a route I was familiar with, through Flint and Ann Arbor, but one particular trip I thought I should take a shortcut and try to go south. I didn't even look at a map thinking there would be enough signs to direct me to the airport.

My plan, however, got complicated. There was major road construction and we were forced on to surface streets. I had no idea where we were going. Soon more and more of the businesses had bars on the windows. I pulled in to a McDonalds for dinner and they swung around the sandwich to me in a bullet proof bubble. I knew I was in a bad part of town. I got scared, and I started to pray like the woman in the song.

I felt a prompting to follow a semi that I had just passed. I slowed down and tucked in behind the semi. I followed it for several blocks second guessing the prompting. The semi signaled it was turning right, and I second guessed myself again - should I stay on the main road, or should I follow the semi down a side street? I put my faith in the prompting and followed the semi. I followed the semi for two blocks and then saw a glorious green sign indicating the entrance to the freeway, and the path to the airport. I was safe.

Signs are all around us. It is up to us to act, drive, and follow -- not for us to sit in the passenger seat while Christ takes us to a destination. Whether he tells us to cast our nets on the other side of the boat, to go and show ourselves to the priests, or take up our bed and walk, the invitation is always to DO something.

"If any man will do his will, he shall know the doctrine."

"Lead Kindly Light." I will follow.

Holiday Lights

One of our family Christmas traditions every year is to see the Holiday Lights display at Thanksgiving point. Large, illuminated steel frames of holiday figures are arranged throughout their back parking lots and lanes, and participants snake slowly through the displays in their cars.

It is our tradition that kids get to sit on Dad's lap and drive. We go through the display twice, once for each child's turn. As far as traditions go, this is something I think the kids are always going to remember doing, and making memories together is what traditions are all about.

One funny from the evening, and then one comment. After Brother had negotiated his first sharp turn successfully, I coached him to start straightening out. He leaned back against my chest. Worried that we might run into something, I repeated the suggestion, "OK brother, you can straighten out now. Hurry!" Brother leaned back even harder against my chest and became extremely stiff. I realized he was straightening out his body. "Not you Brother, the wheel!" We got back on the path and we all had a good laugh.

Coaching the kids driving was fun. The kids would be so attentive for short periods of time - then their focus would change to one of the displays or would join in a conversation. After a while it would become obvious that we were going to run into a cement barrier, or a curb or something, and I would say something like "Steer where you want to go." There attention would come back for a minute, they would fix the situation and then get distracted again.

Brother, more so than Sister this year, was more prone to correct his path with big sweeping corrections, which would send us to the curb on the other side, and thus needed more frequent correcting.

My mind is always searching for gospel analogies and lessons that Heavenly Father might be wanting to teach me. This situation brought me nearly to tears as I imagined a loving father in heaven trying to help me stay on the straight and narrow, and most of the time when I am most intent on taking direction from him, I have been distracted and need more drastic course correction. How much better life would be if I could look further down the road, stay focused, get a bigger picture. It isn't hard for me to imagine sitting on God's lap and having him refocus my attention by saying, "Steer where you want to go."

God Wants a Powerful People

I recently finished reading Sheri Dew's book, "God Wants a Powerful People." I really liked it. It is rare, anymore, that I read a book cover to cover. Mostly I look up the topic I am interested in and read just those sections. Sister Dew drew me in with her next-door-neighbor writing style and interesting examples. I appreciated her invitation to change something, to be better, as a result of reading the book.

Here are some comments from the book that I liked:

Page 14 - We can count on experiencing trials that will test our testimony, our obedience, and our faith -- because how do we know if we really have a testimony, if we'll really obey, if we really want to be honest and chaste and virtuous, and if we really believe in Jesus Christ, if those things aren't put to the test?

Page 19 - Elder Richard L. Evans...told a group of youth that "it is good to be faithful. But how much better it is to be faithful and competent." Our quest is certainly to be faithful, but it is also to learn as much as we can, become as knowledgeable as we can be.

Page 33 - Do we know enough about our doctrine to discern the skillful, even artful, packaging of transgression so blatant in the world today? A casual understanding of the gospel will now sustain us through the days ahead, which is why it is imperative that we immerse ourselves in the word of God.

Page 41 - How we treat our bodies --meaning, how focused we are on treating them as temples--affects our ability to receive revelation. Pure and simple, the more pure we become, the easier it is for the Holy Ghost to speak to us.

Page 53 - Satan likely bristles at this principle [happiness], for happiness is something the ultimate narcissist will never experience. I have never met anyone who was happier because he was immoral, or because he was addicted to something, or because he was dishonest and compromised his integrity.

Page 131 - Elder Robert S. Wood of the Seventy summarized the phonomenon this way: "It is wrong to assume that the more righteous one is, or the more diligently one strives to keep his or her covenants with the Lord, the less suffering one will have to endure. The promise is that he or She will be blessed, though the blessings may be the strength to endure suffering. All suffer--the just and the unjust. but the unjust live as well with the consequences of their own sins. This is the way life is arranged. God does not sit around wondering what test to throw up before you next. Such test are integral to life--they go with the territory."

Page 142-3 - President Hinckley has spoken strongly about the obligations of those ordained to the priesthood, "[The priesthood] is not as a cloak that we put on and take off at will. It is, when exercised in righteousness,k as the very tissue of our bodies, a part of us at all times and in all circumstances."

Page 147 - Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained..."[The] doctrine of the priesthood--unknown in the world and but little known even in the Church--cannot be learned out of the scriptures alone. ..The doctrine of the priesthood is known only by personal revelation. It comes, line upon line and precept upon precept, by the power of the Holy Ghost to those who love and serve God with all their heart, might, mind, and strength."

Page 157 - Said President Spencer W. Kimball: "The Lord has made clear that they who receive his priesthood receive him. And I think that means more than just sitting in a chair and having somebody put hands upon your head. I think when you receive it, you accept it. You do not just merely sit."

Page 181 - They do these things [fasting, prayer, temple worship, scripture study] not to check them off some kind of a forced obedience checklist... Righteous acts help define who they are. True Followers diligently seek to know the lord and His doctrine, to understand His will for them... to find answers to questions or dilemmas, even doctrines, that confuse or trouble them. They do this not to comply with some unwritten code of behavior, but because they really want to follow Jesus Christ. They want to understnad His gospel, particularly how it applies to them.

Page 199 - In today's world, there are too many good people with no conviction, and too many evil people filled with conviction.

Page 200 - There has never been a greater need for men and women who know what they believe, who speak and defend truth, who stand by their convictions, and who lead others to do likewise.

I enjoyed reading the book, and it's message was timely in my life.

Receiving is the true meaning of Christmas

So I asked my kids after church what their lessons were about. My 7-year-old daughter said, “We learned about the true meaning of Christmas.”

“Oh. And what is the true meaning of Christmas?”

“Christmas should be more about giving than receiving.”

I thought about that for a minute. It didn’t sit right with me. It seems like it is a sanitized, ethical doctrine of the feel good gospel of holy whateverism.

I said, “Not me. I think Christmas is all about receiving gifts. And the more we understand the true meaning of Christmas, the more we will receive.”

“Huh?”

“The last line of the Christmas Carol ‘Joy to the World’ says, ‘Let earth receive her King.’ “

“The earth is a girl?”

“That’s beside the point.”

“But it said ‘her King.’ “

“You are a thinker. But we aren't talking about that. We're talking about the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus was a gift to the world. How do we receive him?”

“So are there boy planets and girl planets?”

At that point my wife started laughing and the conversation was done. The thought and the smile remain.

People shrug off the commercial aspect of Christmas by buying stuff for others. Others think about the gifts they can bring to the manger, like a pair of mittens on a tree, or a drummer drumming pah-rumpa-pum-pum. But the angels didn’t sing hosanna for the gifts I bring to the manger or the gifts I give to others. They said, “Glory to God in the highest” because God has given a gift to all mankind, “that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

Bring on the presents. May I receive Them.

Lamanite Scouters

Every once in a while something happens that is so unexpected and takes you so completely by surprise that you end up talking about it for weeks, analyzing what happened, and thinking what you should have said or done. Such was the case last week for my wife.

Nancy is the primary president of our ward. That means she is in charge of all of the children in the ward between the ages of 1.5 and 11. Last week was the "Priesthood Preview," which is a meeting for all of the 11 year old boys, their parents, the bishop, and their future scout and priesthood leaders. The meeting can be quite powerful for the young men as they learn more about "priesthood," and about the responsibilities they will soon receive when they are ordained Deacons. There were about 7 boys in attendance.

The meeting was almost over. The Bishop was just saying a few closing remarks. My wife was sitting at the back of the room and the door kept opening with adults in scout uniforms looking in quite upset. My wife and one of her counselors stepped out to see if she could diffuse whatever was happening outside.

Now, my wife is very non-confrontational, but she is a good problem solver. She stepped out in the hall and asked how she could help. "You're not supposed to be in this room. We have it scheduled from 6:30 on so we can set up for an Eagle court of honor that is supposed to start at 7."

"I'm sorry there has been some kind of a mix up. We are almost done and I'm sure there will be time to set up for your court of honor."

"We have the room scheduled. You need to leave. Now."

My wife had scheduled the room nearly a year ago when she turned in her calendar for the year, but somehow that appointment had been lost. But the two leaders in scout uniforms would hear nothing of it. Not knowing what else to do, my wife stepped back in to the room.

The men followed. The interrupted the bishop and announced, "You are all going to need to leave this room. We have the room scheduled. We need to set up for an eagle court of honor. Take your things and go."

The bishop responded, "We would sir, but we only have two minutes before we are done. Can you wait two minutes?"

"Well OK" huffed the man, "But I'm timing you."

The 11 year old's sat stunned. There parents were stunned. The bishop was stunned. Had the man been less belligerent my wife my have been in tears, but because of their brashness she too was simply stunned.

I wanted to record this here for future reference. It has been interesting to analyze the situation a hundred different ways.

Scouts should be courteous and kind. Leaders should be doubly so. Yet in this particular event, the men seem to have become so focused on their task at hand that they became blind to the larger picture. As my wife observed, "They must have just worked themselves up in the hall. Those primary people this... we have the room reserved... stupid primary people... ruin our event..." And in the end they become the antithesis of everything they are supposed to represent.

It reminds me of the scriptures about the Lamanites' frequent justification for being mean. (Mosiah 10:12-18 for example) Perhaps when I start thinking that I am wronged, and start seeing the world as though I need to let people know how wronged I am, I need to step back and be courteous and kind. That usually is the case. I can tell you about the time I ripped my shoe, or the time I was a day late for a test, but those are other stories.

I keep thinking what I would have done if I had been there. And perhaps that is another lesson also. I think I would have gone out and asked the leaders if they could recite the scout law. In the end, I probably would have been upset myself, letting them know they had wronged my wife and my bishop. :)

What would you have done?

Scripture Absorbtion

Recently I read a passage in the “History of Joseph Smith By Lucy Mack Smith His Mother” that has really caused my mental wheels to turn. The setting is the time between Joseph’s first vision and the time when he gets the plates. This is a period of seven years. During the first vision, Joseph was instructed not to join any church. His family, however, continued to attend other churches as a means to learn about Jesus. Joseph made the following observation to his mother.

“Mother, I do not wish to prevent your going to meeting, or any of the rest of the family; or your joining any church you please; but, do not ask me to join them. I can take my Bible, and go into the woods and learn more in two hours than you can learn at meeting in two years, if you should go all the time." (Chapter 21)

I yearn for Joseph’s skill reading scriptures. Could I say the same? How much do I learn when I read the scriptures, and how much is just reading? This has certainly been motivation for me to try to jump in deep and absorb as much as I can.

Fishers of Men

I took a scout and his dad fishing last Saturday. I haven’t been fishing in a long time and it was great to get out. I remember when I started fly fishing that it seemed like I spent all of my time tying knots and getting my fishing line out of the trees. Therefore, I tied all of the knots we used, hoping that would allow them more time to actually fish. That plan worked a little bit, but they still spent a lot of time getting their line out of trees and other snags.

At one point I asked the scout if I could take a turn with the pole. I knew there was a fish in a particular hole. I casted to the hole but missed it just short. I casted again, and saw a flash of a fish as he struck at the brassy dropper. The third cast the fish struck and I was able to set the hook. It was the only fish we caught that afternoon.

I asked the scout and his father what they thought of fly fishing. “It is harder than I thought,” came the reply.

I asked the scout if his experience that day gave him any added insight into Christ’s injunction to be “fishers of men.” We shared our insights. As we talked the subject became clearer in my mind. Here are a two of the insights.

1. Gospel teaching is like fly fishing. Fly fishermen who not only know their knots well, but have agile hands that are well practiced tying the knots spend more time fishing. Contrast two missionaries – one who has spent his life to that point memorizing and studying scriptures, and is very familiar with the gospel principles. Another missionary shows up at the MTC with excitement for the work, but has to look up the topical guide to find a scripture on faith or repentance. One of the two spends more time fishing.
   


2. Casting is the presentation part of fly fishing. To the scout I ask him if he would eat a hot dog if I sat on it first. “No.” Well the same is true of fishing – the fish are not going to be interested in eating anything that doesn’t look natural to them. It has to be appetizing. Casting is how you present the fly to the fish. If the fly hits the water too hard, if it floats sideways or upstream, it will be unappetizing to the fish. The skilled fisher can present the fly to the fish in a way that the fish wants to eat it. The same is true of a gospel teacher. Missionaries might deliver the same message, teachers may present the same lesson – but the good teacher is the one who will make the material “appetizing.”

With each passing season I spend less time tying knots and more time fishing. I become better able to present the fly in a natural manner. Likewise, line upon line, and precept upon precept, I can become a better fisher of men. I will continue to memorize and be familiar with the scriptures. And I will continue to work on my teaching and presentation skills. In this way I will become a better fisher of men. (And a better data architect, a better dad, a better husband, a better cub master, etc.)

Notes from Kirtland Trip '97

I've been consolidating some of my stuff and have found some things I previously have written. The following is a journal entry I wrote after a church history trip I took with my roommate at the time, Chad Conrad. There are some nice thoughts. I'm including it here so it doesn't spend another 13 years in a box.

June 18, 1997

Chad and I are on a plane right now returning from Kansas City and our 9 day vacation. The trip was a 100% success. We were blessed with safety and good spirits the whole trip. The trip took us to Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Kansas and Missouri. We stayed one night with Ty Rasmussen – it was nice to see him. We spent a day in Kirtland, three days in Nauvoo, and two days in Kansas City.

My favorite site this go-round was the Whitney store. The spirit was almost as strong as I have ever felt. Our guide spoke with testimony. We did not feel rushed and were able to sit and meditate on the events that occurred there.

We noticed a big difference between the LDS guides and the RLDS guides. Opie, one of our tour guides, mentioned that he (RLDS) was more interested in relating the history of the homes in Nauvoo. He said that history was fact, and easy to convey with authority. But the religious stories were not so easy to be an expert in, since everyone had their interpretations. Whenever religion was discussed, Opie said the discussion would deteriorate to opinions. Thus, he just wanted to convey facts.

As a side note, any stories he did share with us all cast doubt on the character of the Prophet Joseph. Nothing he said was positive. While on Opie’s tour through the RLDS sites in Nauvoo, I was able to feel the spirit – but it was the spirit I bought with me.

Perhaps this is the reason the spirit was so strong in the Whitney store. We had just been through the Kirtland Temple, and the whole time were basically told about the construction and what the building is currently used for. I wanted to bear testimony to the events that happened there. Testimony was borne, but only to me. Following this experience we went to the Whitney Store where testimony was freely borne and received. Certainly we were uplifted and edified and rejoiced one with another.

We talked a lot with people from the reorganized church and also the Church of Christ or Hedrickites. We talked of their doctrines and histories. After learning more of their churches, I reaffirmed my faith in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

The trip has been a boost to my testimony; not to the things I know, but to the allegiance I feel to what I know – my resolution to be “true to the faith.” I want to be an active part of Zion – not only of the past but of the future.

Funeral of a Good Guy

I recently attended the funeral of a good man. He was always kind to me and my family, always very approachable and genuine. He had a fun sense of humor and was a character. I hope I can be like him in those qualities. 

Funerals are like that. I recently wrote in my journal that it is good for everyone to attend a funeral at least once a year, and to hold a newborn baby -- both for the same reason: It helps me evaluate and examine my life. Am I spending my time and energy doing just anything, or better things, or best things. And when I'm done with this life, what difference will I have made. 

At this funeral I noted the many references and prayers to God. While this person was a good individual and was kind to everyone, I don't know how much God was a part of his life. I don't know if he ever asked himself WWJD. So the dichotomy was interesting how you could do whatever you wanted in life for fun and return to God in the afterlife. It got me thinking about two scriptures. One I have already written about: Alma 18:5, which says the Lamanites believed in God but they assumed everything they did was right. The other scripture is 2 Ne 28:7-8, 

" And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God."

That was the feeling that I received from the funeral. Then I started thinking about how much I ask myself WWJD, and how much I change my behavior based on something that God wants or has commanded. That is an interesting line of thought also. I decided that doing something because God wants it is better than doing whatever you want, but it isn't the best. The best thing would be wanting the same thing that God wants. 

I like to break things down into nice little categories, so how about these: 

• Telestial people do whatever they want regardless of God's will. 
• Terrestial people try to do God's will. 
• Celestial people do their own will, which has become one with God's will. 

Now I'm stretching a little, I know, because of Christ's statement, "...nevertheless not my will but thine." But I think I can justify the position with Mosiah 15:7 which states that the will of the son was swallowed up in the will of the father. And the Savior in the intercessory prayer in John 17 pleaded with God that we as individuals would become one with God as He is.  Being born again is a two step process: First we yield our hearts to God, and then align our will with Gods. First we put off the natural man and then we become a saint. (Mosiah 3:19)

Elder Bednar described this concept in conference in 2007. 

The gospel of Jesus Christ encompasses much more than avoiding, overcoming, and being cleansed from sin and the bad influences in our lives; it also essentially entails doing good, being good, and becoming better. Repenting of our sins and seeking forgiveness are spiritually necessary, and we must always do so. But remission of sin is not the only or even the ultimate purpose of the gospel. To have our hearts changed by the Holy Spirit such that “we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually” (Mosiah 5:2), as did King Benjamin’s people, is the covenant responsibility we have accepted. This mighty change is not simply the result of working harder or developing greater individual discipline. Rather, it is the consequence of a fundamental change in our desires, our motives, and our natures made possible through the Atonement of Christ the Lord. Our spiritual purpose is to overcome both sin and the desire to sin, both the taint and the tyranny of sin. 

So now my thoughts turn back to the funeral of a good man, and to the evaluation of my life. He was a good, kind man -- not because he was commanded to be, but because he was. Oh to be like that in every aspect of my life. 

Real Healthcare Costs (Nothing to do with Obamacare, mostly)

I’m writing mostly to think out loud, and because I don’t know what else to do. I have been quite interested in the health care debate playing out on the national stage as the government tries to slow down the escalating costs of health care. For the most part, I am extremely dissatisfied with their now mandated solutions, mainly because I don’t think they have addressed the underlying problems. I heard lots of politicians talking about the problem of rising costs, and few if any talking about the reasons behind the cost increases.

Regardless of the blindness of government “solutions,” the problem remains. I am writing about one encounter we recently had with a local clinic in an attempt to understand the cost better.

A few weeks ago my son decided to put a small eraser up his nose. We tried to remove it without success. Instead of trying to use the hemostat from my fishing tackle box to remove it, we decided to go to the urgent care clinic. We waited about 5 minutes to see a doctor. After showing us to an exam room it took the doctor with proper tools less than a minute to remove the eraser. As there were no other patients, we chatted with the Dr. and staff for about another 5 minutes. We were within the clinic for about 12 minutes, 15 max.

Today we received the bill: $350.

$350 represents much more than a days wages for me. I exchanged it 1 minute of labor. Even though my insurance pays this amount – which is why we have insurance – I’m still a little floored by the amount. I realize that there were years of schooling, there’s probably mal-practice insurance, and there are facilities and maintenance worked into the cost. But where did $350 come from? Who came up with that amount? Is it a national standard for eraser removal? Is it decided by the insurance company? Who sets the amount?

Oh Brian, how much is your son's health worth? This is one of my frustrations. I didn't know until getting the bill how much I would be paying. Why wasn't it $500?

Yet, on the other hand, I don’t suppose I would like the Value Meal price approach to medicine where services and prices are posted on a marquee, or even a system where the consumer could choose between good, better, and best services. But the lack of price transparency and economic feedback is frustrating. Perhaps if I had known it would cost $350 to remove the eraser, I would have been a little more willing to get the hemostat from my fishing vest. With the money saved I could have bought a new sage fly rod.

Patients get free healthcare after deductibles are met, so utilization goes up. I am quick to go to the doctor instead of getting out my fishing vest. As utilization goes up, insurance companies lose money and increase the costs of premiums. I understand that side of the loop. But I'm not sure of the relationship between the procedure costs and the insurance allowances.

Does anyone have any insight as to how procedures get their prices? Why $350 and not $100 or $500?

Simplicity and Simplifying

My son recently had a birthday. It was an excellent day. I took the day off of work and we concentrated on making memories. We told him he could eat anywhere for lunch - He chose old McDonalds. My wife volunteered to cook anything he wanted for dinner - He chose little corndogs. For a birthday present, my wife and I got him this awesome Iron Man remote controlled car. It ended up being defective so we took it back. We guided our son back to the store and the row of RC cars and trucks and said he could pick anything on the row he wanted. He looked for a while, browsed up and down the row, and then stopped at the end of the row and said, "I want this!" He held up a 10 dollar action figure set. He was elated with the gift.

It reminded me of the time we were at Sea World before our son was born. At the end of the day we told our daughter she should get a stuffed animal. As she stood before a large wall of stuffed animals, some as big as me, I began formulating the arguments I would use if she pointed to one of the larger animals. Instead, she chose a small orca about the size of my hand. It was nearly the smallest stuffed animal in the shop. She was elated with the gift.

So when do we stop being happy with the simple? Why is it that I so frequently catch myself admiring the figurative life-sized orca, or an awesome vehicle? How I make life complex!

The kids keep teaching the parents. Life is grand.

Displaced Bad Guys and Forgiveness

Many times in cowboy movies the good guys wear white hats and the bad guys wear black hats. This week I been thinking about the figurative hats I give people to wear, and how there are some instances where I give good guys black hats. I have been contemplating forgiveness, and a phenomenon I am starting to call the "displaced bad guy."

"Displaced aggression" is when you take your frustration and anger on an inanimate object - like a punching bag, or going for a run, or whatever. I think there are situations that come up all the time when our frustration and anger for bad guys are projected onto non-bad guys. They become "displaced bad guys."

Here's an example, and the genesis of this line of thinking.

The Third Party Displaced Bad Guy

I am quite close to Mr. Darcy who was swindled out of a lot of money by Mr. Wickham. It caused Mr. Darcy a lot of pain and grief, especially because of the breach of trust. It was not easy for Mr. Darcy to forgive Mr. Wickham. It was a long road, and progress was slow.

Sometime afterwards I was in a church class where the topic was forgiveness. One person made the statement, "I don't see what the big deal is about forgiveness. It's not that hard."

The statement didn't sit well with me. Not the necessity to forgive, but the easiness of it - he made it sound so trivial. I explained briefly Mr. Darcy's situation, and mentioned it was hard for him to forgive Mr. Wickham. I then suggested that sometimes forgiveness takes time, especially when the wounds are deep. That sparked quite the debate. Surprisingly, Mr. Darcy became the bad guy for not being able to forgive immediately. Some in the class wanted to hand Mr. Darcy a black hat. It caught me off guard a little. Mr. Darcy was not the bad guy -- Mr. Wickham was. That is one example of a displace bad guy.

Some people take a while to find the road to forgiveness. Some take a long time to walk that road. But regardless of the pace, I don't think forgiveness is ever easy. Finding fault with someone because they have a slow pace to forgiveness makes them into bad guy and wounds them yet again. Perhaps the situation should be looked at with a wider lens. Direction is much more important than speed.

My take-away: I need to recognize I'm displacing the bad guy if I ever want to say something like, "Why can't you just let it go" or "Get over it already." I need to make sure I don't injure Mr. Darcy myself by labeling him a bad guy.

The Associative Displaced Bad Guy

Another type of displaced bad guy is described by the phrase, "The friend of my enemy is my enemy." The associative displaced bad guy is labeled a bad guy because they have some association with a bad guy. Let's suppose that Ms. Bennett does something nice for Mr. Wickham. If Mr. Darcy then takes offense at Ms. Bennett and treats her as if she had done all of the things Mr. Wickham had done, she is a displaced bad guy by association -- the hurt associated with Mr. Wickham becomes displaced toward Ms. Bennett.

This type of displaced bad guy has many forms and affects children as well as adults. An example would be the high school student who says, "I can't believe you were talking to him. Don't you know he dumped Elizabeth yesterday? He really hurt her feelings."

My take-away: This is such a difficult situation. If I were Mr. Darcy, I need to be certain I am treating Ms. Bennett according to our relationship, and not treat her as if she had done the same things as Mr. Wickham. Were I Ms. Bennett, I'm not really sure what I would do. I would certainly want to be sensitive to the feelings of Mr. Darcy if known.

Forgiveness

As I have pondered displaced bad guys and forgiveness, I have come to four conclusions.

1. It is very easy to create a displaced bad guy. Now that I'm paying attention to it, I see it happening all the time.
2. A sincerely felt "I'm sorry" is rare. I think a sincere forgiveness is even more rare.
3. It is my opinion that anyone who thinks it is easy to forgive has never been deeply hurt themselves.
4. I recognize that I have never been deeply hurt. Because I don't have those wounds, I recognize that I am more likely to label others as guys.

I recalled the last conference talk given by President James E. Faust in April 2007 entitled, "The Healing Power of Forgiveness." I hope I will remember this talk if I ever am deeply hurt. The talk was mostly about a tragedy that happened in an Amish community, and how there was "hurt but not hate."

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic.

Forgiveness comes more readily when, like the Amish, we have faith in God and trust in His word. Such faith "enables people to withstand the worst of humanity. It also enables people to look beyond themselves. More importantly, it enables them to forgive."

My take-away: I hope I never give good guys black hats. By recognizing the types of situations where that is likely to happen, perhaps I will better avoid causing someone further injury. And if I am ever handed a black hat or if I ever encounter a Mr. Wickham, I hope I am able to frankly forgive and work through the anguish without anger.

What is heaven like?

In the past few days some things have happened that have reminded me of what I expect heaven to be. It seems like in the last month or so I have run into many friends from my youth and college days and have pondered some of the the fun experiences we have had that cauterized our friendships.

And yesterday my brother-in-law received his endowment at the Timpanogos Temple. It was a wonderful experience. Lots of people from their ward came to participate with them. He and my sister currently live in the ward where I was raised so I knew lots of people. Three of my childhood heros were there, Brother Cook, my only home teaching companion growing up, Brother Johnson, a Boy Scout leader, and Brother Hunt, my explorer scout leader. I have great respect and admiration for these people.

So as I was in the temple pondering these experiences, surrounded by people I love, happy for the progression of someone I am close to, I was reminded again that heaven isn't harps and choirs, it's being surrounded by people you love.

I reflected on a journal entry I had written years earlier. Bill Cox, another hero from my youth, was speaking in sacrament meeting of my mom's ward where my wife and I were visiting. Bill was the high council speaker. As he spoke I had a flood of love and emotion come over me as I remembered all the good he had done for our family. Then I had the thought that this is what heaven will be like - it won't be filled with friendly but unfamiliar faces, but we will be surrounded with people we love. And when we see the Savior again, he won't be an austere and impersonal authoritarian, but rather we will have a flood of similar emotion - of our interactions with him, of his demonstrated love for us, and our desire to be close to him. That is my view of heaven, and I think I am scripturally sound.

What is your view of Heaven?

Standing Ovations

I have been thinking about what I can do to remedy something that gets me cranky: standing ovations. I haven't been to a performance for a long time that did not receive a standing ovation. So I ask myself, what's the point.

What does a standing ovation mean anyway? Should they be given to whomever for whatever? Are there any standards? Is it like multiple exclamation points at the end of a sentence? Is "Fun!" any less fun than "Fun!!!" I had a writing teacher once suggest that you should only use five exclamation points throughout your lifetime. She informed the class that she had already used two, and that in retrospect she thought one of those times was frivolous. Consequently, I don't write with many exclamation points, and I don't give many standing ovations.

My English teacher's comment got me thinking - what if people were only allowed to give 5 standing ovations in their life. Then if someone were to give a standing ovation it would really mean something. After some thinking about this issue, I came up with the following business idea.

Everyone will be issued 5 STOV cards. If you stand as part of an ovation, you must remit one of your cards to the performer. The performer will endorse the card and receive $20 for each card submitted. Naturally performers will be interested in gathering the cards, and it will inspire them to give great performances. Endorsed cards will be double checked for validity and then cataloged.

I am aware that some people will need more than 5 STOV cards, so extra cards can be purchased from me for $100 each. This will force each audience member to better scrutinize each performance. “I liked the performance, but did I like it $100 worth?”

For those people who have surplus STOV cards, they can be returned to me for a 20% restocking fee, or they can be traded on the open market. Returned STOV cards can be purchased for $90.

I'm going to call this new venture, "Clap and Trade."

Any thoughts or improvements?

Methods and Aims

I taught Sunday School Gospel Doctrine class today. The topic was numbers 11-13, 21. Numbers is about the whiny, ungreatful children of Israel and how they are always complaining to Moses. My lesson was about how the Israelites frequently lost sight of their miraculous suroundings and confused methods with aims.

"Methods" and "aims" are words I have picked up from scouting. An aim of scouting is to become trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, etc. and to do your duty to God, your country, among other things. One method to achieve those aims is advancement. A problem comes when a scout treats rank advancements, particularly becoming an Eagle, as an aim and not a method -- or as a destination not a way to get there.

The latter half of Exodus and the book of Numbers are really case studies on how to lose sight of your goal - the Lord is trying to take them to the promised land and along the way provides mana, water, quail, healings, and lots of other miracles to protect, guide, and sustain them. They complain that they only have mana to eat. They complain that Moses is just on a power trip. They complain that they don't have anything to drink. They complain about the environment. They complain that even the promised land is uninhabitable. They complain that life was better when they were slaves. Each of those trials becomes the focus and they lose sight of the goal.

Here are some interesting things I thought of as I was studying for this lesson -

• Where is the promised land? For Moses and the Israelites it was the land of Canaan. But for Nephi, they left Jerusalem in the land of Canaan to go somewhere else. I think the promised land is not really a place but rather Eternal Life. That is where the Lord wants to take us.
• I compared the story of the Israelites with the stories of Limhi's and Alma's escape from the city of Nephi-Lehi. Limhi's people were more like the Israelites how they were slow to follow the Lord, and tried to fight their way out. Alma's people, on the other hand, were submissive and depended on the Lord from the start. Their fears were calmed, their backs were strengthened, and they were eventually delivered. How frequently I find myself fighting my challenges when I should be relying on the lord.
• I also liked the comparison of the Israelites to Lehi's dream of the iron rod and the tree of life.
  
• Numbers 21 talks about the "fiery serpents" that came among the Israelites. There is an interesting comparison to 1 Ne 17:41. Nephi calls them "fiery flying serpents." There is an interesting side note that one of the Gods of the ancient indians in Mexico was the feathered serpent.
  
• I have a lot more respect for Bishops, Primary Presidents, Young Women Presidents, and Relief Society Presidents. Of everyone in a ward, I think these 4 people are they ones that hear and deal with the most complaining and have to do the most problem solving. Everyone else has people to turn to, but these make all of the hard decisions, and deal with all of the hard issues. I am very grateful and hope not to add any burdens to their shoulders.
  
• Finally, I find the types of Christ so obvious in these chapters. He is the bread of life. He is the sacrificial lamb. He is the one raised up that if we will look upon him, we will live. "For God so loved the world that whoso believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)"
  

Eternal life is the destination. Christ is the way, the method. We grow from our challenges and trials to become more like the savior.

Ironically, perhaps, after church I went to an Eagle Court of Honor where three young men were presented with their Eagles. I helped all three of them with their paperwork. One presented me with a mentor pin. Very nice. I hope they remember they are not "done" with scouting. Rank advancements and scouting too, and just methods to help us on our forward progression to Eternal Life.

Milksicles

So the other day, I'm not even sure how it came up, Nancy and I were telling our kids our experiences with milksicles. As a kid, did you ever try to make ice cream by putting a cup of milk in the freezer? I remember that we had just made some homemade popsicles by putting punch in an ice cube tray, covering it with plastic wrap and poking toothpicks into each cube.

I liked them so much poured myself a cup of milk, put a spoon in it, and put the cup in the freezer. The next day I worked the frozen milk out of the cup and stood there for a minute salivating at the wonderful ice cream concoction I had created. I took a big lick across the milksicle as I would have licked a large ice cream cone...

And gagged. It was the WORST thing I had ever tasted. And because I was in the basement, there wasn't a sink close by where I could get a drink. I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth. How could something so good as milk (especially with chocolate in it) taste so bad frozen? It took seemingly hours for the taste to go away.

So Nancy and I were sharing our experiences with our kids, telling them they can trust us - milksicles taste gross. They don't have to try it for themselves, we have already done that. If they would take our word for it they will be saved a distasteful learning experience.

Since sharing the experience, it's amazing how many times we have called something else a milksicle. A few girls steal some makeup, "They just had to try the milksicle." Almost every news article is about someone who didn't believe milksicles taste gross. The scriptures, prophets, teachers, and parents are all trying to point out the milksicles and identify the real ice cream.

I hope our kids take our word for a lot of things. Milksicles are gross.

Thank you, Grandpa

I spent most of the day today moving dirt with a shovel and a wheelbarrow. After a day of lifting, tossing, turning, dumping and smoothing I am sore from my neck to my toes.

I suppose some people turn off their brain when they do physical labor, but my mind races. I contemplate everything from the composition of the soil, to the family life of the bugs I am dislodging, and getting after myself for putting the labor off so long. Frequently I contemplate the lessons Jesus taught about farming and soil. At times I think about my father - how he stayed fit by working in the dirt and how he loved the lessons dirt teaches.

But today as I dug in the dirt, and hurt, I was greatful for grandpa. He was born and raised just outside of Preston, Idaho. He was a farmer and dairyman by profession. For much of his life he didn't have many "things." He was not a wealthy man. He homesteaded a farm on the top of a sand hill overlooking the bear river (I think that is the name). The land was sandy and hilly and unfit for farming. But it was what grandpa had, and he make it work. The story is told about how we would take his small tractor out with just a blade and spend hour after hour scraping the hills trying to flatten out the land enough to farm. He made do with what he had. He maximized what he had to try to improve his situation. He was successful, acre by acre. He created a beautiful farm with fertile fields.

Grandpa's fields are still farmed today. Here is what the farm looks like today. Notice all of the fields to the north.


View Larger Map

That was a good lesson for me, as I was just trying to level out a small garden spot, and build up some flower beds. Thank you, Grandpa, for making due with what you had, and making the most of it.