Standing Ovations

I have been thinking about what I can do to remedy something that gets me cranky: standing ovations. I haven't been to a performance for a long time that did not receive a standing ovation. So I ask myself, what's the point.

What does a standing ovation mean anyway? Should they be given to whomever for whatever? Are there any standards? Is it like multiple exclamation points at the end of a sentence? Is "Fun!" any less fun than "Fun!!!" I had a writing teacher once suggest that you should only use five exclamation points throughout your lifetime. She informed the class that she had already used two, and that in retrospect she thought one of those times was frivolous. Consequently, I don't write with many exclamation points, and I don't give many standing ovations.

My English teacher's comment got me thinking - what if people were only allowed to give 5 standing ovations in their life. Then if someone were to give a standing ovation it would really mean something. After some thinking about this issue, I came up with the following business idea.

Everyone will be issued 5 STOV cards. If you stand as part of an ovation, you must remit one of your cards to the performer. The performer will endorse the card and receive $20 for each card submitted. Naturally performers will be interested in gathering the cards, and it will inspire them to give great performances. Endorsed cards will be double checked for validity and then cataloged.

I am aware that some people will need more than 5 STOV cards, so extra cards can be purchased from me for $100 each. This will force each audience member to better scrutinize each performance. “I liked the performance, but did I like it $100 worth?”

For those people who have surplus STOV cards, they can be returned to me for a 20% restocking fee, or they can be traded on the open market. Returned STOV cards can be purchased for $90.

I'm going to call this new venture, "Clap and Trade."

Any thoughts or improvements?

Methods and Aims

I taught Sunday School Gospel Doctrine class today. The topic was numbers 11-13, 21. Numbers is about the whiny, ungreatful children of Israel and how they are always complaining to Moses. My lesson was about how the Israelites frequently lost sight of their miraculous suroundings and confused methods with aims.

"Methods" and "aims" are words I have picked up from scouting. An aim of scouting is to become trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, etc. and to do your duty to God, your country, among other things. One method to achieve those aims is advancement. A problem comes when a scout treats rank advancements, particularly becoming an Eagle, as an aim and not a method -- or as a destination not a way to get there.

The latter half of Exodus and the book of Numbers are really case studies on how to lose sight of your goal - the Lord is trying to take them to the promised land and along the way provides mana, water, quail, healings, and lots of other miracles to protect, guide, and sustain them. They complain that they only have mana to eat. They complain that Moses is just on a power trip. They complain that they don't have anything to drink. They complain about the environment. They complain that even the promised land is uninhabitable. They complain that life was better when they were slaves. Each of those trials becomes the focus and they lose sight of the goal.

Here are some interesting things I thought of as I was studying for this lesson -

• Where is the promised land? For Moses and the Israelites it was the land of Canaan. But for Nephi, they left Jerusalem in the land of Canaan to go somewhere else. I think the promised land is not really a place but rather Eternal Life. That is where the Lord wants to take us.
• I compared the story of the Israelites with the stories of Limhi's and Alma's escape from the city of Nephi-Lehi. Limhi's people were more like the Israelites how they were slow to follow the Lord, and tried to fight their way out. Alma's people, on the other hand, were submissive and depended on the Lord from the start. Their fears were calmed, their backs were strengthened, and they were eventually delivered. How frequently I find myself fighting my challenges when I should be relying on the lord.
• I also liked the comparison of the Israelites to Lehi's dream of the iron rod and the tree of life.
  
• Numbers 21 talks about the "fiery serpents" that came among the Israelites. There is an interesting comparison to 1 Ne 17:41. Nephi calls them "fiery flying serpents." There is an interesting side note that one of the Gods of the ancient indians in Mexico was the feathered serpent.
  
• I have a lot more respect for Bishops, Primary Presidents, Young Women Presidents, and Relief Society Presidents. Of everyone in a ward, I think these 4 people are they ones that hear and deal with the most complaining and have to do the most problem solving. Everyone else has people to turn to, but these make all of the hard decisions, and deal with all of the hard issues. I am very grateful and hope not to add any burdens to their shoulders.
  
• Finally, I find the types of Christ so obvious in these chapters. He is the bread of life. He is the sacrificial lamb. He is the one raised up that if we will look upon him, we will live. "For God so loved the world that whoso believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)"
  

Eternal life is the destination. Christ is the way, the method. We grow from our challenges and trials to become more like the savior.

Ironically, perhaps, after church I went to an Eagle Court of Honor where three young men were presented with their Eagles. I helped all three of them with their paperwork. One presented me with a mentor pin. Very nice. I hope they remember they are not "done" with scouting. Rank advancements and scouting too, and just methods to help us on our forward progression to Eternal Life.

Milksicles

So the other day, I'm not even sure how it came up, Nancy and I were telling our kids our experiences with milksicles. As a kid, did you ever try to make ice cream by putting a cup of milk in the freezer? I remember that we had just made some homemade popsicles by putting punch in an ice cube tray, covering it with plastic wrap and poking toothpicks into each cube.

I liked them so much poured myself a cup of milk, put a spoon in it, and put the cup in the freezer. The next day I worked the frozen milk out of the cup and stood there for a minute salivating at the wonderful ice cream concoction I had created. I took a big lick across the milksicle as I would have licked a large ice cream cone...

And gagged. It was the WORST thing I had ever tasted. And because I was in the basement, there wasn't a sink close by where I could get a drink. I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth. How could something so good as milk (especially with chocolate in it) taste so bad frozen? It took seemingly hours for the taste to go away.

So Nancy and I were sharing our experiences with our kids, telling them they can trust us - milksicles taste gross. They don't have to try it for themselves, we have already done that. If they would take our word for it they will be saved a distasteful learning experience.

Since sharing the experience, it's amazing how many times we have called something else a milksicle. A few girls steal some makeup, "They just had to try the milksicle." Almost every news article is about someone who didn't believe milksicles taste gross. The scriptures, prophets, teachers, and parents are all trying to point out the milksicles and identify the real ice cream.

I hope our kids take our word for a lot of things. Milksicles are gross.

Thank you, Grandpa

I spent most of the day today moving dirt with a shovel and a wheelbarrow. After a day of lifting, tossing, turning, dumping and smoothing I am sore from my neck to my toes.

I suppose some people turn off their brain when they do physical labor, but my mind races. I contemplate everything from the composition of the soil, to the family life of the bugs I am dislodging, and getting after myself for putting the labor off so long. Frequently I contemplate the lessons Jesus taught about farming and soil. At times I think about my father - how he stayed fit by working in the dirt and how he loved the lessons dirt teaches.

But today as I dug in the dirt, and hurt, I was greatful for grandpa. He was born and raised just outside of Preston, Idaho. He was a farmer and dairyman by profession. For much of his life he didn't have many "things." He was not a wealthy man. He homesteaded a farm on the top of a sand hill overlooking the bear river (I think that is the name). The land was sandy and hilly and unfit for farming. But it was what grandpa had, and he make it work. The story is told about how we would take his small tractor out with just a blade and spend hour after hour scraping the hills trying to flatten out the land enough to farm. He made do with what he had. He maximized what he had to try to improve his situation. He was successful, acre by acre. He created a beautiful farm with fertile fields.

Grandpa's fields are still farmed today. Here is what the farm looks like today. Notice all of the fields to the north.


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That was a good lesson for me, as I was just trying to level out a small garden spot, and build up some flower beds. Thank you, Grandpa, for making due with what you had, and making the most of it.