On Being Reprimanded

Have you ever had an experience that you continue to ponder and wonder how you might have reacted differently? This is a conversation I replay lots in my mind.

I was a leader at a summer youth activity many years ago watching Napoleon Dynamite on a neighbor’s front lawn. There were a couple dozen 12 and 13-year-olds having a good time watching and quoting the movie. About an hour into the show I received a phone call from the baby-sitter of one of the young men whom we had seen leave the event a few minutes earlier. (His parents were away on an extended trip.) After introducing herself on the phone, she started on a strong tirade about how the young man had been treated. She really let me have it – how scouts should be a safe place and how there is no place for bullying and that the young man was distraught. I’ve never been chastised with such vigor as I was by this temporary babysitter whom I have never met.

But this post isn’t about bullying. I’m glad the babysitter was willing to stand up for the perceived injustice. But the reason this conversation replays itself frequently in my mind the minuscule amount of information the babysitter had about the perceived injustice, the boys involved, and their histories – or even that the young man was occasionally the one bullying. If I could change my response, I think I would include one additional sentence –

“The problem and its solution are much larger than your present understanding.”  

Facebook is a great example of this. Everyday people learn of an injustice and quickly pull out their sword, so to speak, and start swinging at dragons. Frequently things are written that would never be said in person – and usually with a slight comprehension of the situation. Perhaps an adequate response is –

“The problem and its solution are much larger than your present understanding.”  

I get caught up myself. I have seen people swinging swords about school lunch, about the length of school vacation at Christmas, about this or that political issue. I have friends in city government who dutifully listen to complaints.  Most of the time I think their responses to complaints could be –

“The problem and its solution are much larger than your present understanding.”

It applies also to matters of church history and doctrine. We judge history with societies current prejudices and our limited knowledge. People get “stirred up” and are quick to launch into complaints and criticisms. Many times, I think, the concern criticisms can be answered with -

“The problem and its solution are much bigger than your present understanding.”

Joseph Smith commented about people getting worked up about perceived injustice. 

“I have tried for a number of years to get the minds of the Saints prepared to receive the things of God; but we frequently see some of them, after suffering all they have for the work of God, will fly to pieces like glass as soon as anything comes that is contrary to their traditions: they cannot stand the fire at all.”  (Jan. 20, 1844.) DHC 6:183-185.

When I start to get worked up and feel like I need to speak with "all the energy of my soul," this is the time to learn more and speak less. How invested am I in this outcome? How critical is this outcome in the long term? How likely is my getting upset going to change the outcome?  (Perhaps in future reflections I can share stories of the two times in my adult life I have been upset - The story of the ripped shoe, and my college Portuguese test.)

Several scriptures come to mind on this topic. Here are a couple –

James 1:19

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

Proverbs 4:7

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. 

What scriptures would you include?